


Cherry tree

by Serendipity99



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Crying, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Pining, Romance, This Is Sad, but it'll get better, trust me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-21 16:10:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18705772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serendipity99/pseuds/Serendipity99
Summary: Tooru can't stand to see Hajime with someone else.





	Cherry tree

"I love you," the girl with the beautiful blond hair said. That kind of hair was rare in Japan, rare in Asia, more common in Europe, but she had it. Beautiful long blond hair, shining in the sunset of Miyagi.

They were together on their way home, after a stressing day of practice. Tooru was whining about how tired he was, but Hajime knew, that if he would say "Let's practice some more" Tooru would gladly join him. After his knee injury and Hajime being constantly angry at him, when he would stay longer for training, Tooru was more cooperate about it. He was going home when Hajime was going and stayed when Hajime stayed. Hajime was proud of him, he was happy about the trust.

Tooru smiled genuinely at him when Hajime praised him about his improving setting skills. But that smile dropped the instant Hanawara-san stepped up.

"Do you have a moment, Iwaizumi-kun?" she asked, acting all shy with her blushing face.

"Sure," Hajime said and excused himself from his friend.

Shouldn't take that long, Tooru thought. Hajime was fast about things like that. He shrugged them kindly of, didn't say too much, just enough, that they knew, he didn't like them. Tooru frowned. He didn't like it, when his friend received a confession, of course, he didn't. He was in love with him since middle school. But he hid it.

"My parents are getting a divorce," Hajime told him, in the summer they turned ten. His eyes were puffy and red of the tears and his voice was sore. Tooru was coming over to visit that afternoon after Hajime declined his invitation for a sleepover.

"My dad said, that he likes men more than women. And that he can't live with us anymore," he said and new tears were falling. Tooru didn't know, what to say.

"My dad has three kids. Three. How am I gonna explain that to the twins? They're five!" Hajime cried again. He wasn't crying like Tooru about every little thing, he only cried, when he was really really sad and upset.

"I hate gay men!" young Hajime shouted in his anger and Tooru didn't know better than to comfort his friend with a steady hand on his back. Those words stayed in Toorus memory for a long time. The winter they turned sixteen, Tooru knew he was that kind of men that Hajime despised. He couldn't confront him with that, his friend still wasn't over the fact, that his dad was gay after he fathered three children with a woman. Hajime was older now, he knew about love and romance, knew about boys and girls, all that adult stuff. He knew love couldn't be forced. He knew rationally, his father did the right thing. But emotionally his father was an asshole.

The twins were older now, their mother explained everything to them, shamelessly.

"I don't want to lie to them as their father did," she said later to her best friend, that was Tooru's mother. She nodded in agreement but was eying their kids, who were playing in the living room. Tooru's sister Natsume was already twenty and had her own child, Takeru. The little boy was laughing at Tooru and Hajime, so Tooru's mum couldn't help but laugh too. She already was a grandmom.

Hajime wondered at that time, why gay men existed. They discussed the topic of evolution in biology, talking about sexuality and sex, and Hajime couldn't help but wonder. He asked his teacher.

"Why do gay men exist?" he asked. The teacher was taken aback.

"I mean, I get the stuff that they love men but it's not evolutionarily planned, right? They can't make kids like men and women do. Is it essesentional, that they exist?" The teacher didn't know how to answer that question. She stayed silent and Hajime's question was never answered.

After that Tooru was sure, he couldn't confess in his lifetime. Not only Hajime would be disgusted, furthermore, but he also wouldn't be his friend anymore. Tooru wasn't sure if he could handle that.

He was so consumed in nostalgia, that he didn't check the time. This confession took longer than the others, longer than he expected. Is it because of her? Did Hajime like her too? Tooru was restless. He knew he shouldn't do it, but he was so damn curious, he couldn't help it, but spy at them.

They were standing under the cherry tree behind the school. It was a nice place for a confession, the scenery screamed for young love. He was thinking about confessing under that tree too, but after the thing with Hajime's dad, he eventually forgot about it.

"And that's why I'd like to ask if you would like to go out with me?" she said bravely without any tears and only with hope in her eyes. That girl really liked Hajime, admiring his kindness not just his handsome face, appreciating his honesty not just his good build body.

"Are you sure, you want this?" Hajime asked. Tooru was taken aback. He usually turned the girls down like, "Sorry, I'm to busy with volleyball, I couldn't spend enough time with you" or "Thank you, that makes me happy. But I can't return your feelings" or "Fuck off" when Tooru said, that he loved him. It hurt, yes, but it was Tooru's fault for saying it.

Tooru couldn't help but admire her for her strength and boldness. He was a coward.

"Yes." the girl said and Hajime smiled.

"We could give it a try."

Tooru's heart broke and he runs away faster than he ever did.

__^°^__

Tooru was an expert in hiding and avoiding. Of course, he was. He hid his feelings for Hajime for about six years now and he planned on doing that his lifetime long. Hiding his real emotions was like breathing, smiling was the only expression he managed in every situation, perfectly.

Avoiding was also his specialty. He didn't make it look like he was mad at Hajime or that it was awkward staying around him, no, he just lied a lot more. How he was feeling, how much he had eaten, how much he had slept, how many hours he stayed behind hitting serves.

Eventually, he lied about everything that concerned his well being.

Hajime didn't notice. Or he pretended. He was busy with his girlfriend. Hanawara-san was very beautiful and a very smart girl. Second in class and athletic. That kind of girl Tooru knew Hajime liked. They were going on dates every Tuesday and Thursday, after practice. Hanawara-san waited in front of the gym, greeting her boyfriend with a shy peck on his cheek. Hajime just laughed then, saying something like "thank you for waiting for me, Reina" and Reina laughed too "everything for you, Hajime".

He felt nothing but pain when he looked at his friend.

But he obviously faked his smile, when Hajime introduced him to his girlfriend. He thought, that Hajime would notice his obvious discomfort about the situation, but the denseness of his friend wasn't something Tooru's subtle signs could win against.

"Oikawa. This is Reina. Reina, this is Oikawa, my childhood friend." he said, looking proud at Reina and she laughed with that nice voice of hers.

"Pleasure to meet you, Oikawa-san. Hajime talked a lot about you." Tooru's eyebrow twitched.

"I do not." Hajime hissed, but there was no bite in his words.

"Oh, he did? You spoil me, you brute! Likewise, Reina-chan." He said with his dashing smile. Hajime tried to hit him, but Tooru ran away, avoiding his touch.

"I have to go to practice, but it was nice to meet you, Reina-chan! Iwa-chan, hurry up or the coach will yell at you!"

But he couldn't fool everyone, especially when he tried desperately to cover up his emotions when Hajime was around. He lowered his guard around his other friends a lot.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki were good friends of him. They knew something was up, when Tooru smiled all day long, even when they insulted him. He didn't pout, he didn't scream how mean they were to their darling friend, no he just laughed it off, not even replying.

"He's doing it again. It seems worse than with Kageyama." Matsukawa said, observing the moves of Tooru. His serves were flawless, a bit too flawless, considering the fact, that he shouldn't have trained since Wednesday, due to their coaches schedule. Tooru's serves usually took more time to adjust, about a half an hour, but he seemed perfectly fine. And that was worrying, cause that means, that he was doing extra training again.

"What should we do? Tell Iwaizumi?" Hanamaki asked, gasping when he saw Tooru performing a rather risky toss, but he managed it as ever. He sighed in relief.

"I don't think, that's the right thing to do now. Iwaizumi should have noticed. He's usually so sharp, when it comes to Oikawa's attitude, that dense asshole." Matsukawa frowned. Hanamaki nodded in agreement. So something was definitely off and the two of them were determined to find out, what it was.

"Cap." Matsukawa cornered the other third year with a worried frown. Shit, they noticed something. Tooru sighed.

"What is it."

"Spit it out." Tooru looked up. What did they know?

"When was the last time you've eaten something healthy?" was the first question. Hanamaki was watching his friends from the other side of the court. He decided to join the talk later.

"Yesterday evening. Why are you asking?" That wasn't even a lie. His mother made sushi and other delicious stuff and Tooru felt bad for declining, so he ate it. Together with his family. That he was throwing up after that alone in the bathroom at 3 am wasn't something he wanted to tell his friends. He felt disgusting.

"How many hours have you slept this week?" Tooru could count them at one hand. In fact, he hasn't slept in days. He kept silent.

"Damn. Thought so." Matsukawa clicked with his tongue. He was clearly annoyed. Tooru sighed. He didn't want to trouble his friends with his love life. His nonexistent love life.

"You're ruining your body, Oikawa! Is that something you are proud of?!" Hanamaki rushed over, putting a hand on Matsukawa's back, calming him down. He shot a glare at the first and second years, telling them to practice and leave them alone for a while. 

"Oikawa. Tell us, what's going on." Hanamaki said and looked at his friend. Tooru huffed. There wasn't even something wrong with this situation. If there was, it would be him. Hajime was straight and had a girlfriend. His best friend was gay and loved him. So it was clearly Tooru's fault.

"It's nothing. I'm getting over it."

"By vomiting your food out of your body, after you ate it? By training so hard, that your body collapses? By not sleeping, that is definitely not healthy?!" Matsukawa asked furiously. Shit. How much has he seen?

"Matsukawa. Stop it." Tooru sounded tired.

"I want to get over this alone, because this is my problem, alright? Please just mind your business, it's already hard to think about it, please don't make me say it loud. I'm begging you." That was it. Tooru never begged. He whined about something every now and then, dissatisfied with the situation, but he never begged. It was something his pride couldn't let him do.

So Tooru begging must mean, that he threw his pride away. And that wasn't something good. He was losing himself.

"Oikawa. We see, how this makes you feel. Believe us, we see it. Speak with us, okay? It's going to be easier." Hanamaki said, clearly worried. Tooru wanted to cry, cry his eyes out, but he couldn't. There wasn't a single tear in his body.

"I'm thinking about Hajime." he tried and Matsukawa eyed him suspiciously.

"What else is new?" Tooru sighed again, much sadder now.

"I mean, I'm gay."

"That much, we knew." Hanamaki shrugged it off. He didn't want to worry Oikawa more about his sexuality.

"You did?" Tooru asked, a little bit relieved. That means, they didn't hate him for what he liked. But he didn't drop the bomb yet.

"In fact, we are too," Matsukawa said with a serious look and pointed at Hanamaki and himself with his thumb. Tooru couldn't say, that he was surprised.

"But that isn't it, right Cap?" Hanamaki tried again. He could see, that Tooru was hiding something else and it was tearing him apart so much, that he wasn't sleeping and wasn't eating either.

Something even Hajime didn't notice.

"Is it really that bad?"

"You have no idea." Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a look.

"We won't force you, but know that you're not alone at this, Cap, alright? We are here." Tooru smiled a little. A genuine smile.

"You want to stay over with us? We planned a movie night." Matsukawa said and his friend looked up.

"Alien 3?"

"Why not?"

He was convinced. 

__^°^__

They met up at Oikawa's house. His mother welcomed the three boys with a kind embrace, saying something like "You two have grown so much since the last time I saw you" and Oikawa shrugged with his shoulders.

"Well, we are grown men, Oikawa-san," Matsukawa said with a sly smile and Tooru's mother returned the look with a mischievous grin.

"I'm not so sure about that. I still remember the time..."

"Oikawa-san, no need to remind us of our past self." Hanamaki interrupted her and tried to hide his embarrassment behind his hands. Tooru's mother chuckled and Tooru rolled with his eyes.

"Mom, they're going to sleep here tonight," he informed her.

"Why of course they do. What about Hajime, though?" she asked and failed to notice Tooru tensing under her words. Matsukawa and Hanamaki did though.

"He's busy with Reina."

"Oh, that's too bad. Invite him for this weekend, Tooru, you hear me? I haven't seen my darling son in days." she complained. Tooru sighed.

"He's not your son. If you want to see him that badly, just go over. He literally lives across the street." he said, harsher than he intended. She was confused when her son hurried in his room.

"Did something happen between them?" she asked the two boys, that were as confused as her.

"Actually I think, we're here to find that out." She nodded.

"I'm going to prepare some snacks and drinks. Take good care of him, okay? He seemed a bit off these days." Hanamaki and Matsukawa promised and they made their way to Tooru's room. They didn't bother to knock but were surprised, when they saw the outcome of Tooru's depression. Tissues everywhere, clothes spread over his bed and floor. Old photos of them in their first year in high school and childhood memories of Tooru and Hajime. But they were damaged, Tooru had his face on the photos black painted. All in all: It was like a war scene. 

"M'sorry for the mess," Tooru whispered and tried to clean at least his bed.

"No shit. What the heck happened, Oikawa? I'm not gonna leave this room, till you told me." Hanamaki declared and Tooru looked at him with fear. Hanamaki flinched at that.

"It's not something, that's gonna change, even when I tell you guys," Tooru said and threw the tissues in the bin. Matsukawa made his way through the clothes and took his seat on Tooru's bed.

"It has something to do with Iwaizumi, right?" Tooru looked startled at his friends and lowered his gaze to his feet.

"Tch. That motherfucker. I knew it. What has he done?" He tried to avoid the searching gaze, but he was tired. He was so so tired of pretending, that everything was okay.

"I love him."

Matsukawa and Hanamaki shared a look.

"You what."

"I love him." and he couldn't hold back his tears anymore. The sadness of six years of unrequited love overflowed and took place in his heart. He couldn't fight back anymore.

"I-I love hi-m so-o much, b-but he's with Re-eina and n-not me-e." he sobbed and collapsed on the floor. Matsukawa and Hanamaki reacted fast and hugged him tightly.

"Oh my god, Tooru..." Matsukawa started but couldn't end his thought. He stroked his head reassuringly and whispered nice and kind words to him. Tooru cried in their arms for what it seems an eternity and couldn't stop. Eventually, he broke away from them and searched for another tissue. Hanamaki frowned and looked at his friend.

"Oikawa. How long?" Tooru sniffed.

"How long I love him?" Hanamaki nodded.

"It's been six years," Tooru said with a sad smile.

"Holy shit- Tooru, you liked him for six years now and you haven't said anything?" The boy frowned.

"When should I have done that? By lunch? "Hey, Iwa-chan, sorry to interrupt your make-out session with your girlfriend, but I'm really gay for you! Would you like to go out with me?" Like that? He would hate me." he spits out. Matsukawa sighed.

"No, I mean, do you know, that he would hate you? You're his best friend. He would need some distance, sure, but you will stay friends." Tooru shook his head sadly.

"We wouldn't. He hates gay men. He said, that it's not necessary for gay men to exist." Matsukawa gasped.

"Did he say that."

"That was his words. I remember them clearly."

"Shit."

"Yeah." Tooru sighed and longed for another tissue to blow his nose. Hanamaki gave it to him.

"What are you going to do?" he asked and Tooru laughed bitterly.

"Nothing. I'm getting over Iwa-chan and then I'm good in no time. You'll see. I've got this." But he needed to convince himself the most with those words. He knew they weren't true. He would love him forever, and it was tearing him apart.

"Oh, Tooru." Matsukawa sighed again and pulled him into a hug.

"We are here for you. Don't worry. We got you." he repeated and Tooru seemed to calm down. He even fell asleep. Matsukawa put him in his bed and covered him in his favorite blanket. He snored a bit and took the blanket closer. Hanamaki lightly stroke his hair and smiled at him. The first time this week he saw him this relaxed.

Careful not to wake Tooru up, the two of them shifted in a more comfortable position.

"We need to do something. This is serious. I literally can see him jumping from a bridge." Hanamaki whispered and Matsukawa nodded in agreement.

"First thing tomorrow, we're going over to Iwaizumi. And I'm gonna kick his ass. How dare he to do something to our Cap?!" Matsukawa said angrily and frowned when he saw the notification on Tooru's phone. Hajime sent him a message.

Iwa-chan :3

You okay? You seemed a little off today.  
(17:45 pm)

You better not overexercise yourself, dumbass.  
(18:26 pm)

Asskawa, answer me.  
(18:36 pm)

Oi!  
(18:47 pm)

Oikawa, r u really ok?  
(19:02 pm)

I'm worried.  
(19:14 pm)

I'm coming over.  
(19:26 pm)

Your mother didn't let me in. She said u r having guests over?  
(19:39 pm)

Oikawa!  
(19:42 pm)

Please. Did I do something wrong?  
(20:32 pm)

Hanamaki grunted in annoyment.

"He seems to get the hints by now, though. I can't believe, he didn't notice."

"That just means, that Oikawa could hide it from him." He looked down at his friend. He seemed a bit restless in his sleep.

"Tomorrow."

__^°^__

Hajime was surprised to see his two high school friends the first thing in the morning. He was still tired. He couldn't really sleep well, after the thing with Oikawa. But today was Saturday and no school, and they were in their uniforms. Why were they here?

"Iwaizumi. We have to talk."

Shit. 

"What's going on between you and Oikawa?" Hajime sighed. That's what he wanted to know. Tooru was avoiding him and his girlfriend, that much was clear. But he hasn't figured out the reason yet. Tooru was difficult to read sometimes even for him.

"I honestly don't know. I wanted to check on him this weekend. Why?" Hanamaki clicked with his tongue.

"That's too late," he said and shared a worried look with Matsukawa, who nodded in agreement.

"What do you mean, it's too late? Is Oikawa okay?!" Matsukawa simply glared at him.

"Cut the crap, Iwaizumi Hajime, you know exactly, what this is about." Hajime flinched. He wasn't used to seeing both of them so serious.

"No, I don't." Hanamaki huffed.

"Let us in. This isn't a talk we should have here," they said and shoved Hajime right into his room. They passed his mom, who welcomed them friendly, and Hanamaki and Matsukawa quickly bowed to greet her.

They forced him on his bed and took their seat in front of him.

"Am I held, hostage?"

"Yes." Matsukawa simply said and ignored his friend's huffing.

"What did you mean with "it's too late"?" Hajime asked and tried to read his friend's faces. But they were serious and completely unreadable.

"Well, exactly that. Tell us, Iwaizumi Hajime. What do you think, Oikawa is to you?" Hanamaki asked and Hajime flinched at that question. He tried to avoid that topic as much as possible. He knew, if he thought about it, he wouldn't like the outcome.

"He's my best friend," Hajime said, but it didn't sound sincere.

"I never thought, you were this oblivious. Or an asshole. Or both." Matsukawa sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, to show Hajime his obvious anger.

"This is getting really ridiculous," Hajime grunted and tempted to stand up, but Hanamaki stopped him.

"We agree. This situation is so ridiculous, that Tooru is overworking himself again, much more than with Kageyama and you know that. You saw it! You knew, he threw up after every meal, that he hasn't slept in days, that he's giving up on himself! You saw it, yet you did nothing to stop him! No, you were busy with Reina, right?! Busy, my ass! Iwaizumi Hajime, tell me the truth. Why are you avoiding Tooru so much? Don't tell me, you're dating Reina because you love her. Because you don't. Every time I ask you, who you love the most, you hesitated. Tell me, Hajime, what has Tooru done, to deserve that?!"

Hajime stayed silent. He let Hanamaki yell at him, and he couldn't say anything to stop him. He was saying the truth. He did saw. Not as much as Hanamaki said, but he knew, that Tooru stayed behind. That he wasn't really eating. And that he looked very tired. He knew all of that, but he chooses to stay silent. He wanted to distance himself from the boy he loved, to get over him. Hell, he realized he was the same as his father. Something his mother definitely would not approve. His brothers didn't even like to say the word "gay". It was the biggest No-go ever to be gay in Hajime's family. And yet he loved a boy. His best friend since childhood at that. What should he do about it?

He told himself, that Tooru was fine. He would be fine by himself. He didn't need Hajime to go to the nationals, he didn't need Hajime to become happy. He was a strong man, he would be fine.

And Hajime would be fine too. He'll find himself a cute girlfriend, marry her eventually, have some kids and build a home, that isn't going to collapse. He wasn't going to make the same mistake as his father did.

But he fucked up. He knew it. From the moment Tooru faked his smile at him and kept his distance.

"I'm sorry." was the only thing he could think of.

"You well damn fucking should be. But you're at the wrong station here." Hajime looked up. He saw encouragement in their eyes.

"Fix it. You know the truth, don't you?" Hanamaki said and smacked his leg. Matsukawa grinned and pointed at the door.

"Hurry up, you dick."

Hajime never runs that fast in his life.

__^°^__

"Tooru," he whispered and knocked on his door. There was no answer, but Hajime knew, that he was there. Hanamaki and Matsukawa told him so.

"Be careful," they said, "he's as unstable, as you imagine him to be. He cried his eyes out when we were there and he only slept six hours at least. We're not sure if he's prepared to talk to you yet. He may throw a tantrum."

"Tooru," he whispered again and opened the door. The scene was heartbreaking.

His friend curled against his pillow in the corner of his room behind his closet, sobbing against his hands. Tissues everywhere. Hajime spotted a piece of paper, wet with tears. Tooru wrote this not to long ago.

Dear Hajime,

I'm sorry to leave you like that. You deserve a better friend. I'm sure, that you'll be happy, even without me.

I'm so tired, Hajime. The last two years were hell for me and I'm sorry, that I didn't talk to you about it, but I wanted to be anything but a burden to you. I didn't want to trouble you with the worthless and pathetic problems of mine. You had enough of them yourself. It's fine if you hate me now, I deserve no better.

But let me tell you, Hajime. You are the best, that ever happened to me. You are everything, that I remember. Your kindness was the only thing, that kept me hoping, that you would like me too. You are cruel in that way, Hajime, but it's okay, I forgive you.

Please don't forget me, Hajime, I beg you. Because I won't forget you either.

My love, my friend, always you.

Tooru.

Hajime ripped the paper into little pieces and approached his friend, who was sobbing even more, now that he realized who was visiting him. His childhood friend wanted to kill himself. Because of him. Hajime's heart clenched painfully at the thought of Tooru dying and he couldn't stand to see him crying like that.

"Oh Tooru," he whispered and pulled his friend into a hug. Tooru hugged him back, desperately, like he thought Hajime would leave if he'd let him go.

"Shhh, I'm here. Don't worry. Everything will be fine. I'm here." Hajime whispered and stroked Tooru's hair. His friend sighed at that as if he missed that and nuzzled into his shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time.

"I'm sorry," Hajime said then and Tooru flinched. If someone should be sorry it should be him. He destroyed Hajime's happiness with his girlfriend, just because he was selfish again. His self-hate grew even more intense. Hajime shouldn't be apologizing. It should be him.

"No," he said firmly, "I should be the one, who's sorry. For lying to you. And that you had to worry about someone like me."

Hajime frowned and placed his hands carefully on the shoulder of his friend. They were bony, thin, fragile. Tooru really wasn't eating enough. He starved and vomited.

"Tooru. I worry about you because I want too. I am your friend because I want too. And I am so sorry for not focusing on you as I should. Damn, it's the only thing I'm good for. And because of my stupidness... Tooru, nothing of this is your fault, alright?"

His friend looked at him, properly looked at him, with his puffy and red eyes, tears on this face.

"You don't have to lie to me, you know? I know, how you feel towards me, Hajime. I know about the thing with your family and your father, I know..... that you don't like me, for what I am. And... that's okay, it really is, I don't expect you to be my friend anymore. Not after you said, that you..." Tooru couldn't bring himself to say the words. And the more he said the deeper the frown on Hajime's face got.

"After I said what?" Hajime asked. Tooru needed to collect himself a bit before he could say it.

"After you said.... that it's not necessary for gay men to exist and that you hate them," he whispered and Hajime's mind went blank. He said that?! In front of Tooru?

"Listen..." he wanted to say, but Tooru interrupted him quickly.

"No, it's okay. It really is. I've come to terms with it. I mean, I could for six years, so I'll manage. Don't worry, Iwaizumi." he said, but he was silenced by a hand on his mouth. Hajime looked in his eyes, properly looked at him, as if he tried to see his soul. Tooru stared back, helpless. Those deep green eyes, that looked at him with anger, with sadness, with joy, with love.

Tooru blinked. He must have seen it wrong. There was no way, that Hajime would like him back. He shouldn't get his hopes up, that would end up crushed anyway. So he wanted to look away, but Hajime forced him with his hand to face him.

"Oikawa Tooru. Will you shut up for a second?!" Hajime tried and Tooru muttered something like "I didn't even say anything" under his hand, but that might have been his imagination.

"Tooru, I don't know, when I said that, but I want you to forget it all. Everything about gay men to be no necessary and that I hate them." He sighed and took his hand away. Tooru took a deep breath and lowered his gaze.

"You don't have to try so hard, Hajime. You were honest with me. You said what you liked and what you disliked and you don't have to take it back. I knew all of it and still stayed your best friend. This won't change anything." Tooru tried and there was Hajime's hand again, forcing his face up.

"This will change everything. And I want it to change." Tooru's eyes widened and nodded then.

"Of course you want. I wouldn't want to be friends with a liar too," he said and Hajime clicked with his tongue.  
Why was it so hard to communicate with him?

"Tooru, listen. I don't want to be friends with you, because I'm in love with you." There he said it. He confessed, just like that. It was easier than he expected. And the reaction was satisfying. There was no happy smile, but a cute little blush on Tooru's face. Hajime wanted to take a picture of him.

"You are what, Hajime?" Tooru couldn't believe the words, that were coming from Hajime's mouth, he needed to hear them one more time.

"I love you, Tooru," Hajime said, determined to say it as often as it takes to make Tooru stop crying.

"Platonically. You have a girlfriend, Hajime."

Please, one more time.

"I know. But no. I love you, Tooru with all my heart. I think I needed this to come to my senses."

I don't care if it's a lie. Please say it just one more time.

"Hajime."

"I love you, Tooru," Hajime said and Tooru looked up to him, met his green eyes, those green eyes, that were looking at him with joy and love. Overflowing love.

"I love you too."

__^°^__

There was no kissing. As comfortable as Hajime seemed with his coming out, physical contact with lips were still awkward. Tooru was fine with that. Hajime convinced him, stayed with him the entire weekend and didn't leave his side. He even held his hand on the way to school.

"Oikawa! Iwaizumi!" Hanamaki and Matsukawa joined him just before the gate. Hanamaki eyed them carefully until his eyes fell on their locked hands. And smiled.

"You got your act together, Iwaizumi." Matsukawa was still a little spiteful, as he knew how Tooru looked two days before. Hajime nodded and bowed to his friends.

"Thank you for your help," he said and stayed like that. Matsukawa and Hanamaki were taken aback but quickly calmed down. They grinned at each other and Matsukawa took Hajime into a headlock.

"You damn well should be thankful, you idiot!" they said and Tooru chuckled lightly at the sight. He knew that Hanamaki and Matsukawa wanted to talk with Hajime after they slept over and he was thankful as well. But for the secrecy of their mission, he stayed silent.

"What about your girlfriend, though?" Hanamaki asked and Tooru's smile dropped. But Hajime looked determined.

"I'm going to settle that now. Tooru, come with me," he said, took his hand and dragged him away to the classroom of Hanawara Reina. She was there with her friends, laughing, chatting about this and that, not even expecting the talk that would follow.

"Reina," Hajime called out for her and she turned around with a big smile, that faltered a bit, as she saw Tooru and Hajime hand together and Hajime's serious face.

"Yes, Hajime?" she answered, not even bothering to leave her seat. She must have sensed something, the feeling of a losing match. The beginning of the end.

"We have to talk. Now." Hajime said and turned around to walk to the roof. It was a holy place for both of them. Tooru and Hajime fought and laughed a lot on this roof. Memories of them together.

Reina silently followed them, her eyes attached on Tooru's back. She was displeased, angry even, but she couldn't do anything yet. There were too many people around.

As they arrived, Hajime closed the door after Reina stepped through it and returned to Tooru to lock their hands again. Reina watched and her face showed annoyance.

"What is this, Hajime?" she said, but she already knew the answer. She just wasn't ready to admit it. Her boyfriend with someone else.

"Reina. I'm sorry, but I want to break up with you." Hajime's voice was steady and calm, he thought about his words.

"Why? Weren't you happy with me, Hajime? The last five months? Where is the problem?" she asked, tears running down her face. She looked at Tooru and their hands and she stared at him with anger.

"It's his fault, right? He said shit about me to ruin our relationship, right? He didn't like me, so he sabotaged us! Don't you see that, Hajime? That I am the one for you? Didn't you saw how much I love you, how much I cared about you?! I had a crush on you since the beginning of the year!" She screamed and Tooru huffed.

"I was accepting your relationship, I even encouraged it. Hajime said he wanted to break up, not me. And as for your so big crush since the beginning of the year..." he squeezed Hajime's hand more as he gathered the strength for the next words, "I love him since I know, what love is. And it's not for you to decide, who is the rightful one for Hajime. He chooses." Tooru said and looked at his friend, who smiled at him proudly. Then his gaze returned to the girl.

"I'm really sorry, Reina," Hajime said then one last time and dragged Tooru of the roof, leaving the crying girl behind.

"I feel sorry for her, Hajime. She really loved you." Tooru said and Hajime stopped. What a coincidence, Tooru thought. Under the cherry tree behind the school.

"I know that. But I would only hurt her, you and me, if we would stay together. It's the best, how it is now. She will get over it. She's strong." Hajime explained and looked at their hands.

"I never want to let go of you."

"You're such a sap, Iwa-chan," he said and smirked. Hajime rolled with his eyes and looked at the sunlight, shining through the leaves above their heads.

"You'll stay with me, right Tooru?"

"As long as you want me too, Hajime."

"Forever then."

"Alright."


End file.
